What Cynthia Nixon Is Teaching Us About Sexuality

When actress Cynthia Nixon declared that for her, being gay is a choice, she received much negative backlash from the gay and lesbian community. I don't see her revelation as negative as much as I appreciate her giving us an opportunity to discuss a very complex concept of sexuality. Most people -- gay and straight alike -- prefer to believe that you are either gay or straight. Bisexuals are seen as "bi now, gay later." And those who are "heteroflexible" -- heterosexual but enjoying gay sex everyone once in a while -- are almost always seen as latent homosexuals, especially if they are males. The truth is that it is not this simple at all.

 Read my article at Huffington Post

To read more click here

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joe-kort-phd/cynthia-nixon-sexuality_b_1248824.html?ref=gay-voices

"I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation" Alan Chamber, President of Exodus Intl for ex-gays.

Alan Chambers, president of the ex-gay organization Exodus, came out and said the following quote at a Gay Christian Networking group: The majority of people that I have met, and I would say the majority meaning 99.9% of them have not experienced a change in their orientation or have gotten to a place where they could say that they could never be tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction. I think there is a gender issue there, there are some women who have challenged me and said that my orientation or my attractions have changed completely. Those have been few and far between. The vast majority of people that I know will experience some level of same-sex attraction. To read more click here http://wthrockmorton.com/2012/01/09/alan-chambers-99-9-have-not-experienced-a-change-in-their-orientation/

Why are gay men threatened by straight men having sex with men?

There was a post at a website titled, "Queerty" http://www.queerty.com/read-this-if-you-wanna-learn-how-to-seduce-straight-guys-20111019/ which was called, "Read This If You Wanna Learn How To Seduce Straight Guys". Queerty.com saw an article I wrote on Psychology Today about straight men having sex with other men. What baffles me are the comments of gay men who are naive and ignorant to understanding that men can have sex with men and not be bisexual or gay. I would be interested in responses here from some of you as to what your thoughts are by the comments on that site. It is clear from reading this blog and the www.straightguise.com website that I do believe and know that bisexuality exists. I acknowledge that and talk about that when it is true for some men. One comment was that, "if a man is having sex with both genders than he is bisexual". This implies that bisexuality is simply based on a sexual act which would then have to mean that being gay and straight are only based on sexual acts. I always say that if I never have sex with another man again for the rest of my life I will still be gay and I know that to be true. Gay men who are hetererosexually married and having sex with their wives are not bisexual after they come out. They were always gay. Here is the website page and the comments http://www.queerty.com/read-this-if-you-wanna-learn-how-to-seduce-straight-guys-20111019/

"Born This Way" Blog: Alex

"Born This Way" Blog: Alex: "Alex, age 4 Ames, IA (1976) That's me in the green footie pajamas, kissing another boy. I've always loved this photo, and I refer to it as '..."

Very sweet to see images of same gendered kids being sweet with one another.

The Daily Maverick :: 'Sex At Dawn': shattering the monogamy myth, and more

The Daily Maverick :: 'Sex At Dawn': shattering the monogamy myth, and more

Why Does THAT Arouse me?

I am thinking of doing a teleseminar to help people understand and relieve themselves of the shame of their sexual fantasies. I would love to hear thoughts of what you would like me to focus on that would interest you in knowing about what your sexual fantasies say about you!

All sexual fantasies are healthy. There are some that should never be acted on because they might be putting the person who has them or someone else at risk. I don’t believe there’s any pathology in our sexual fantasies or desires. Instead, I see them as a positive story about ourselves that’s trying to be told. Learning what the nonsexual meanings of our fantasies are can be very helpful.

  

For example, you might have a fantasy of being dominated and spanked. There’s nothing wrong with that fantasy and there’s nothing wrong with doing it. But what I want to help someone do is explore why they have that fantasy from a positive perspective and not necessarily pathologize it. Not in a negative way but in a positive way. What does that mean about you?”

 

Dr. Kort learned the benefit of helping people explore the origins of their fantasies through years of work with men who are addicted to sex and from those who have been sexually abused. By "cracking the erotic code" and learning the narrative of what the sexual desires mean can help you feel better about your sexuality and learn more about yourself.

If you would like to hear the last teleclass I did on this topic click here

New from the Kort Report February 2011

http://archive.constantcontact.com/fs081/1102561682612/archive/1104300010342.html

I am excited to be going to London, England to offer my workshops for gay and lesbian couples and gay and bisexual males who are partnered or single. 

I will also be offering a couple's workshop for all couples here in Michigan in March. 

I am writing for a popular magazine for gay men in the UK called, "Attitude", in which I answer questions from gay men about their lives. 

Read the newsletter for all this and more by clicking here